Privacy - Part 2

Dear Diary

Back to the issue of privacy for our children. I have been giving a lot of thought to this over the past few days. On the one hand I don't want to give up control of my home and abdicate my responsibility as a parent, but on the other hand I want to treat my daughters with the respect that they deserve. How do you find the balance?

Having thought about it, I have reset the ground rules with my daughters and we will have to wait and see how things work out.

1.  I will no longer go into their rooms and look around when they are not home.
2.  I do reserve the right to have surprise inspections but I will only do so with them present either in the house or in the room.
3.  My 14 year old is still not allowed to be on face book/my space/ or any other social media platform where information and images can be shared. This will be revisited on her 15th birthday.
4.  I reserve the right to inspect my 14 year old daughter's cell phone. I will not insist on knowing the password but she must show me the cell phone on demand so I can have a quick look.

 I believe that as parents we cannot be afraid of establishing rules and boundaries for our children for fear of upsetting them or making them angry at us. Children want and need rules and boundaries no matter how much they kick against them. I was very strict with my eldest daughter and from when she was 11 until she turned 17 I was known as "the mean mommy from hell". But I am glad I stayed strong and stayed the course and held up my responsibility to be a parent. My daughter is a Senior in High School and on her way to College in the fall and she recently told me that she was glad I was so strict with her as kept out of trouble and was able to focus on her education and that she was grateful. That made me feel very good as a Mother and helped to look back on all the fights and the drama and trauma we went through and to know it was worth it.

Parents, especially single Moms, don't give up on trying to be the best parent you can be, set the rules,insist they be kept, keep on even when they are broken, be consistent, be involved and don't be afraid of your child's anger or resentment, they will get over it and they will thank you in the end.